Ketchup Made Good as Young Sauce-preneurs Crack the Code on a Truly British Tomato Sauce — Clarkson, You’re Up

Scott Mathias
Jun 16
2 min read

Thanks to two sauce-obsessed Kentish upstarts - Kier and Jen, better known as Condimaniac - the tomato sauce gap on Britain's pub plates is about to be filled. Their newest creation? A 100% British tomato sauce. Bottled. Labelled. Real. Official. And possibly on its way to Clarkson’s table as we speak.

Jeremy Clarkson - Courtesy The Farmers Dog Insta

It started as a condiment conundrum - Jeremy Clarkson, proud keeper of The Farmer’s Dog pub in Oxfordshire, swore off ketchup because, in his view, no truly British version existed. None. Not one with home-grown tomatoes, local sugar, British vinegar, or a label that didn’t scream “imported by middlemen in Slough.”

Until now!

The duo took the internet’s scepticism as a personal mission. “This haunted me night and day,” Kier confessed via TikTok, recounting the uphill quest to source UK-grown red tomatoes from the Isle of Wight and sugar from good old-fashioned British sugar beets (not sugarcane, sorry colonials). “British sugar isn’t always British,” he warned. “But this is.”

It wasn't just sauce. It was a statement. "It’s not about nationalism," one fan commented, “It’s about our little island being able to support itself.” That sentiment's been echoed thousands of times - Condimaniac’s reveal post has been liked more than 20,000X, including Clarkson’s own Diddly Squat Farm Shop.

Sauce: Condimaniac 100% British Tomato Sauce

So far, no one outside Condimaniac HQ has tasted the stuff. “Not even Jeremy,” they confirmed. But with ITV knocking, thousands watching the TikTok series, and public clamour building. This is handmade, obsessively tracked, micro-batch ketchup for people who like their condiments with a side of conscience.

The label’s been finalised. The batch is bottled. The challenge? Delivered. Now Kier’s prepping to bring a bottle directly to Clarkson’s pub - no PR, no PR stunt, just two proud condiment-makers walking into a bar with a bottle of red sauce and a dream.

Whether Clarkson adopts it or not, Condimaniac has done what other have'nt. They didn’t just make a ketchup. They redefined what it means to make local work. And frankly, the comments say it all: “What an achievement.” “Hopefully Jeremy tries it on chips.” “This is beyond cool." “Now that’s how you support local farmers.” “I love this… even if I still hate ketchup.”

So what happens next? Who knows. Maybe Clarkson spits it out. Maybe he slathers it on a burger. But either way, the real story is already in the bottle: a two-person team just made something the big boys never bothered to try and they may have changed the pub sauce game forever.

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